I have been carrying this same apple back and forth in my lunch for a week, but I never eat it. It’s become something of a pet.

Every day, I think, this will be the day that I eat my apple, but when lunch comes along, it doesn’t happen. I’m an apple procrastinator.

Sometimes it’s just too cold to bite into an apple. Sometimes I’m just not in an apple mood.

This is a big apple. A big apple is a big commitment. What if I start eating the apple and change my mind. You can’t go back. A breeched apple is a ruined apple.

Parts of the apple may be flawed. Then I have the conumdrum of deciding how close to get to the flaws for the perfect balance of maximum apple usage and mimimal risk of biting into sub par apple.

I considered bringing a knife from home to cut up the apple, but I recently purchased some very sharp knives from a college student and end up stabbing myself and bleeding  profusely every time I attempt to use them.

I have no solution at this point. I may need an apple intervention.