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People With ADD Should Not Go to Pier One

Not that I’ve actually been diagnosed or anything, unless you include every layperson I encounter. There is WAY too much going on in Pier One to focus on any one thing. It is, however, great fodder for Awkward Photojournalism.
I went in there with high hopes and walked out with almost nothing. I did almost buy a sofa, but I figure it’s probably best to confine impulse buys to things like gum at the register in Wegman’s.

One of the first things we saw there was this Hipster Penguin:

Hipster Penguin

By all rights, he should be wearing black rimmed glasses, but he has no ears, something which I assume he is pretty self-conscious about, so I wouldn’t bring it up if I were you.
I also saw this band of metal cats which I’m sure would make an awesome gift for anyone who likes cats or music or metal:

Jazz Katz

This next item I nearly bought. Its a giant fork– authentic in appearance. I think it would make an awesome diet aid. Just limit yourself to one fork full of food per day and wala!
You’re an Olsen twin. (My fork model is also available for Bar Mizvahs and weddings):

Giant Fork

This last item was quite a find. It’s a wooden rooster who was sitting on a shelf, pining for Beyonce the Giant Metal Chicken.
What appears to be a staring contest is actually my fork model trying to explain to Mr Wooden Rooster that he is not Rooster enough for the likes of Beyonce:

Out of His League Rooster

He seemed to finally get it, but he is still sad and alone. Look how pensive he looks in this photo:

Oh What A Lonely Bird

You really don’t see that much pensive poultry.

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