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The Rise of the Bonsai Baby

I was discussing this Pinterest picture online the other day. There was quite the uproar in the comments section about mixing babies, glass and hard candy, but anything in the interest of a cute picture, right? The commentary was all very funny. People are quite strident. And fun to poke.

I just found the picture baffling because when my kids were newborn, I was focused on keeping them warm and comfortable. I don’t think it would have occurred to me to stick them into a dish full of old sticky candy on my grandmother’s coffee table and snap a few photos for posterity.

Newborns are pretty sound sleepers, so I guess a parent could play all sorts of practical jokes on them. The hand in a bowl of warm water joke wouldn’t be particularly effective since the baby would be wearing a diaper. The hand full of shaving cream, tickle the nose trick could work.

The oddest thing about the picture is how much it reminded me of the Bonsai Kitten trend that tore through the Internet a few years ago. The baby in the Pinterest picture still looks reasonably baby-shaped. You can only actually see the baby’s head and hand in the photo though, so I hope they used the entire baby.

Babies are pretty darn cute on their own without turning them into photo props. But Pinterest is kind of hotbed of crazy anyway.

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Sharkdog, You Will Be Missed

So we lost our doggy Akeesha on Monday. She was 14, so she lived a good long life, but we still miss her fiercely.

Here are some of the posts I have written about her:

Sharkdog

Doghenge

Doghenge Revisted

Doghenge with a Vengeance – Henge Harder

Sharkdog is not a morning dog

She’s been going downhill for a while but she was still enjoying pets and treats and had some quality of life, she’s gone downhill the last few days.

She’s deaf, but she liked to lay at my feet with her head on the ground when I played my cello.

I played for her her last evening when we were trying everything to get her on her feet. She tried to get up, but she couldn’t. I don’t think I’ll be able to play Simple Gifts again.

Here are some more pictures:

Dogs Love Chucks

Afghan Hound Impression

Superdog! With her newspaper cape

I wish I had some pictures of her rolling around in the snow. She loved that. She also loved toast, peanut butter and people. She hated water, little dogs and the dark.

She was weird even as a puppy. She used to run in circles, chasing her tail. Not unusual so far, but she would catch her tail and walk around like that with her tail in her mouth.

When we first moved into our house, we had no fence and while we were unpacking, we didn’t notice that she had wandered away. She walked into my neighbor’s open back door. My neighbor was cooking bacon. So she sat down at his feet and waited for her share.

Once she was in the front yard with us while we were doing yard work. A minivan drove slowly by, delivering newspapers, doors open.  Akeesha bounded across the yard and jumped into the van because there were kids inside to play with.

She calmed eventually with age and training and was less prone to such craziness. But she was an awesome dog and we miss her every day.

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Have We Discussed Creepy Santa?

My husband bought this Creepy Santa a few years ago.

He doesn’t think he’s creepy, but I’ll leave that up to you.

He is full sized (in my world anyway– close to five feet) and motion-activated.

I try to sneak past him by doing things like vaulting over the banister or Marine crawling across the living room, but I’m never sure if he is turned on or not.

When he senses motion, he gyrates awkwardly, flailing his arms. I think it’s supposed to be dancing, but he looks like he should be driving a windowless van and holding a bag of candy.

He sings and says a variety of things like “Ho, ho, ho” or “Merry Christmas” or “I’m going to cut you in your sleep.” Well, maybe not that one.

In the off-season, Creepy Santa lives in our basement.

I know. Of course he does

We have always had a distinctly, non-creepy basement. It’s rather nicely finished, in fact, so creepiness had to be imported, in the form of Creepy Santa.

Here is full-sized Creepy Santa. Note the made-for-stranglin’ hands:

I was actually starting to wonder if my husband got Creepy Santa to keep me out of the basement with the bar and big screen TV, especially now that Creepy Santa has been joined by Giant Hairy 4 Foot Spider that he bought on sale at Walgreens.

This year Creepy Santa made his first appearance standing in our kitchen where I was bound to stumble into him as I opened the door from the garage.

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No. No, That’s NOT The Best Of The Seventies. At All.

I heard a “Best of the Seventies” station at the dentist the other day. It was an actual XM Station though, not Muzak, so there was no excuse. They played Abba, Neil Sedaka, Paper Lace, and whatever that Do The Hustle song is.

This is NOT the best of the seventies. The best music of the seventies is, in the order that it popped into my head is:

1. Jethro Tull

2. Yes

3. Emerson Lake and Palmer

4. Spyro Gyra

5. Chicago

6. Pink Floyd

7. Marvin Gaye

8. Led Zepplin (NOT, contrary to belief, a one-hit wonder.)

9. Stevie Wonder.

10. Simon and Garfunkle

11. Earth, Wind and Fire

12. Jackson Brown

13. The Ramones.

14. Queen

15. Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young

That’s not all of them by a long shot, but it surely doesn’t include Seasons in the Sun or Billy Don’t Be a Hero.

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Tyrannosaurus Rex’s Arms Are Not Too Tiny To Hold a Lightsaber

I went to Michael’s with my daughter. You would think that a craft store would be really boring, but there is a kid’s section where I found this really great light saber that flashed and made cool noises.

It seemed like the only logical thing to when I was finished with it was to give it to an unarmed T-Rex who was standing guard nearby.

Here is a picture that better shows the magnitude of the lightsaber in question:

Here is a Magic Baby Hat I saw when we were waiting at the checkout:

 If your baby wears this magic hat he or she will be able to read and will enjoy a high level of self-esteem, so you should buy it unless you want your baby to live in your basement.

(PS. I mean when your baby is full grown. You shouldn’t let your baby live in your basement because it is probably dark and full of sharp things.)

I wanted to close with this picture of a Fire Truck:

This pickup truck was on fire when we went into the store and the police and fire trucks were just getting there. We came out about 45 minutes later and the truck was still on fire. You can’t see it in this picture, but there is water and foam everywhere. The  gentleman who owned the vehicle had a full tank of gas.

The firefighters were unable to extinguish the blaze by the time we left, but at least they prevented it from exploding.

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So, I Expected Zoe Keating to be Amazing and Talented.

I didn’t expect funny and engaging. She performed Sunday at Annie DiFranco’s Asbury Hall at Babeville. It’s a great venue. You can see more about it in my blog post: The Five Best Things About Living in Buffalo.

It wass and intimate setting, probably not much more than 200 people there. I managed to sit in the second row and  spent a lot of time watching her bow hand because mine usually resembles Jim Carey’s Claw from Liar Liar.

Zoe Keating is billed as an Avant Cellist. She performs mostly original music working with her cello, a laptop and a foot pedal. As she plays her cello, her laptop records it and plays it back as she plays the next segment. This continues until you get the effect of an orchestra of cellos.

She is one of my favorite artists and I found her on twitter of all places. Last year when I started playing cello, I looked for cello related tweeps, et voila, there she was. Sunday was the time I’ve seen her perform live. She is impossiblely slim and tall, while I am about the size and shape of a cello. She has wonderful bright red dreads, which are frequently stacked on the top of her head.

She is Canadian, and currently resides on the west coast, but what I didn’t know is that she spent the last two years of high school here in Western New York, spending much time at the Eastman School in Rochester. Paraphrasing a remark she made Sunday, “We hear a lot about Music in Schools, but it wouldn’t matter if there weren’t parents to drive you everywhere.”

Her parents were at the performance and Keating wondered aloud if the entire audience was made up of her parents’ friends.

I found it amusing that she spoke to the audience as though they were all fellow musicians. She cracked a joke about being asked to compose in F# which I wouldn’t have gotten a month or two ago.

She also called out for orchestra jokes from the audience and got this:

What is the difference between a string bass player and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

Ha! Poor musician humor.

Another odd thing was following her tweets from backstage while I was sitting in the audience waiting for the show to start.

She is working on a new CD – yay! I already have everything she has recorded and I’m looking forward to more. I can’t wait until she is back in town.

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This Is My Companion Apple

I have been carrying this same apple back and forth in my lunch for a week, but I never eat it. It’s become something of a pet.

Every day, I think, this will be the day that I eat my apple, but when lunch comes along, it doesn’t happen. I’m an apple procrastinator.

Sometimes it’s just too cold to bite into an apple. Sometimes I’m just not in an apple mood.

This is a big apple. A big apple is a big commitment. What if I start eating the apple and change my mind. You can’t go back. A breeched apple is a ruined apple.

Parts of the apple may be flawed. Then I have the conumdrum of deciding how close to get to the flaws for the perfect balance of maximum apple usage and mimimal risk of biting into sub par apple.

I considered bringing a knife from home to cut up the apple, but I recently purchased some very sharp knives from a college student and end up stabbing myself and bleeding  profusely every time I attempt to use them.

I have no solution at this point. I may need an apple intervention.

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A Very Shiny Project Runway Finale: Holy Surprise Ending Batman

Didn’t they tell Kimberly her bags and shoes were too clunky?

Josh’s first model needs to take off the blue towel so we can see her outfit.

I like Josh’s gown thing with the plastic top now that he got rid of the roller disco back view.

I loved everything in Viktor’s collection. Amazing. Everything is so fun and flirty and Rock and Roll at the same time, not an easy task.

I want his little black leather zipper skirt.

Love the way Anya’s pieces move. The music is perfect too. It’s all so very true to her heritage.

Ugh, that plaid gown! Put back the tablecloth, you’re ruining our picnic.

I was pulling for a Viktor/Victorious ending.

 

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Sharkdog is not a Morning Dog

Every day I have to wrestle my reluctant Sharkdog to wakefulness and toss her out the back door to do her duty (yes, I said duty). She is mostly deaf so clapping and calling her name is meaningless. I try poking her, prodding her, tugging on the blanket she sleeps on, all to no avail.

I have tried picking the big doofus up and putting her on her feet in her sleep, considerably easier, now that she’s down 20 pounds (yes, she is perfectly healthy, just old and on Atkins). I hate to manhandle her too much because she has arthritis.

So I struggle with her for ten plus minutes every morning trying to activate her (retriever powers: activate!) And skid into my office every morning just under the wire, making a Kramer-like  entrance.

I decided last night to try one last thing. I brought a half a dog biscuit upstairs with me. So this morning, I first tried my usual poke, poke, prod, prod. Nada.

So I stuck the biscuit under her nose. From a sound sleep, she leapt to her feet like a puppy and scarfed it down and looked at me for more.

Really, Sharkdog? Really?

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The Five Best Things About Living in Buffalo

I have lived here in the Buffalo, NY suburbs since 1994. There are so very many things to recommend this great place, from the world class culturals to the easy commutes and small town feel. I never go anywhere here without running into someone I know. And whenever anyone asks how far someplace is, the most common answer is 15 minutes. Here are a few of my favorite things about living in Buffalo:

1. Amazing Local Theatre Community. Take a look at this great video clip (I know a lot of the people in this!)

Buffalo: All the City’s a Stage

2. According to Forbes Magazine, Buffalo is the Best City in the US for Working Moms

I would argue that it’s great for families in general.

3. The Goo Goo Dolls are from Buffalo and bassist Robbie Takac has made it his life’s work to give back to the Buffalo music community with:

Music is Art

MIA hosts an annual music festival and runs an instrument drive to provide instruments to children who could not otherwise afford them.

4. Singer songwriter Ani DiFranco purchased a historic but dilapitated church built in 1876 and designed by John Selkirk. From this now restored building, she runs Righteous Babe Records as well as providing banquet and performance space:

Babeville

5. Arts and Architecture. As well as the aforementioned Selkirk designed church, there are many examples of Frank Lloyd Wright designs such as the Darwin Martin House and Greycliff.

There are serveral art museums including the Burchfield Penney located on the Buffalo State campus and the Albright Knox, which boasts one of the most significant modern art collections in the world.

Here are some other sources of Buffalove:

City of Buffalo: Arts and Culture

Buffalo Architecture and History

Good Things About Buffalo

City of Hidden Treasures

There are also tons of great restaurants and colleges and year round outdoor activities. Also sports teams, but I am a Philly native who still supports her hometown teams, so you’ll have to look elsewhere for Buffalo Sports.

But Buffalo is a great place to live or to visit so you should come here. But not all of you. I like my elbow room.